Albuquerque Divorce Lawyer Blog

When a relationship breaks up, the anger and sadness between the parties can prevent them from protecting the most vulnerable parties to a divorce or child custody action- the children. No matter where you live in New Mexico or the United States, the focus in a custody dispute needs to remain on determining what is in the best interest of the children. Sadly, in cases involving parental alienation, not only do one or both parents often engage in behavior that damages the children, they can create a situation in which the children themselves are contributing to the alienation against one parent.

While parental alienation often begins with one parent (the aligning parent) trying to interfere with the relationship between the other parent (the rejected parent) and the child, the behavior of all of the parties can exacerbate the situation. Children involved in nasty custody battles in which parental alienation is taking place may feel abandoned by the rejected parent and may push that parent away. Even if the children's feelings of rejection are based on misinformation provided by the aligning parent, the rejected parent may actually pull away from the children, which can contribute to the children's feelings of abandonment.

A variety of factors can influence children's response to potential alienation, including the children's age, their cognitive capacity, their overall temperament and whether or not the children have external support to help them deal with the emotional duress of a custody battle. No matter the cause, counseling and therapy will almost always be required to help children and parents deal with the cause and effects of a heated custody dispute. Unfortunately, one or both parents will often refuse to participate in therapy, at which time the courts must step in to order any counseling necessary to stop the abusive behavior that causes parental alienation and protect the best interests of the children. Consulting with an experienced child custody attorney is essential to identifying your responsibilities and protecting your rights in any custody dispute.

Sarah Armstrong
Albuquerque Attorney
www.CollinsAttorneys.com

Co-parenting is never easy, whether you are involved in a child custody dispute as part of a divorce in New Mexico or a paternity action somewhere across the country; the issues are often the same. Unfortunately, when custody disputes get really heated parental alienation can occur.

Although parental alienation is a broad and controversial topic, the main premise is that parental alienation occurs when one parent tries to turn a child, or children, against the other parent by doing things like making negative comments against the other parenting, interfering with visitation and encouraging the child to point out the other parent's faults. Some cases can be quite extreme with false allegations of child abuse used to sever the relationship between the child and parent.

The parent trying to alienate the child is often called the aligning parent because that parent is trying to align the child with him or her against the other parent. In turn, the alienated parent is often called the rejected parent. Rejected parents can be quick to believe they are the victims of parental alienation, however, they often do not realize that their behavior may be contributing to the alienation taking place between the parties.

For instance, aligning parents may create alienation because they, rightly or wrongly, have a deep distrust of the rejected parent and they have convinced themselves that the rejected parent does not really care for the child. This distrust may lead the aligning parent to say terrible things to the child about the rejected parent and to try to prevent any contact between them. In such a case, the rejected parent may respond by withdrawing from the conflict entirely or by rejecting the child as reprisal for the aligning parent's actions. Rejected parents may also contribute to alienation by having a very harsh or rigid parenting style or being overly critical of the child. When a rejected parent's behavior contributes to the alienation, those actions sometimes lead to estrangement.

Obviously the issues involved in a parental alienation case can get complicated quickly. Anyone involved in a custody dispute where one or both parties may be contributing to parental alienation should contact an attorney immediately before the damage done to the parent child relationship is irreversible. This is particularly important in cases involving false allegations of abuse.

Sarah Armstrong
Albuquerque Attorney
www.CollinsAttorneys.com

Some of the issues facing parents involved in a divorce or paternity action involving child custody are not specific to New Mexico, but occur all over the United States. One such issue, which has become increasingly recognized by family law courts during the last 20 years, is the concept of parental alienation.

Parental alienation is generally discussed in the context of a contested custody dispute, although elements of parental alienation can certainly be found in intact families. When the research about parental alienation first began being published, it focused on situations in which one parent sought to alienate the child from the other parent by doing things like preventing visitation between the child and the other parent and bad-mouthing the other parent to the child. Frequently, one parent would go so far as making false allegations in court to prevent the other parent from seeing the child.

The current research has revised the concept of parental alienation to extend beyond just one parent and to examine how the actions of both parents, and sometimes extended family, can work to alienate a child from a parent. Whatever the cause, parental alienation is a serious situation and if it goes on long enough, it can result in a parent-child relationship that is irretrievably broken.

Psychological therapy or counseling is often recommended for all of the parties involved in a parental alienation situation. If a party to custody action believes that alienation is an issue, they will need to bring that to the court's attention as soon as possible so that the court can order the necessary therapy and start putting in other safeguards to stop the breakdown of the parent-child relationship.

Parental alienation is taken very seriously by the New Mexico courts. The court above all is charged with promoting the best interests of the child. Anything that interferes with this goal which includes interference with the parent-child relationship is dealt with very seriously. An experienced divorce and family law attorney is essential to getting these issues heard and addressed by the court before it is too late save the parent child relationship.

Sarah Armstrong
Albuquerque Attorney
www.CollinsAttorneys.com